For Rabbi Sarah Krinsky, seeing a young teen and a 95-year-old carry on a lively conversation and learn from one another is an average Thursday. Krinsky, an associate rabbi at Adas Israel Congregation in Washington, D.C., began facilitating the “I/Thou” Cohort, an intergenerational learning group, from November to May.
She led a group of 10 synagogue members — ranging in age from 14 to 95 — in conversations about various topics during the six-month pilot program. Each session focused on one topic: desire, love, joy and friendship.
“We’re all human with the same experience of emotions and relationships and the world,” Krinsky said. “I chose topics that were wide-ranging enough so that they’re not specific to any moment in the life cycle. The human experience has a lot that’s very shared, which provided enough of a foundation for these conversations but also has enough that’s varied, such that the 15-year-olds and the 95-year-olds could learn from each other’s differences.”
The cohort met at a different member’s house around the D.C. area to provide a “level of intimacy.”
The cohort is named for Jewish philosopher Martin Buber’s school of thought and 1923 book “I And Thou,” about how humans relate to their world. An “I-thou” interaction describes when people place themselves completely into a relationship and seek to truly understand and be present with another person, resulting in genuine dialogue and sharing, according to Jewish Virtual Library.
Buber’s theology says God is found in “intense, personal, vulnerable relationships,” which Krinsky tries to embody through the cohort.
Each of the four 90-minute sessions began with an opening reflection. For the session on friendship, Krinsky asked participants to pair up and talk about a friendship that was meaningful to them, followed by a group sharing portion. Then, participants would relate Jewish texts to the day’s theme either in pairs, as a group or a combination of both.
Krinsky said she thought of the idea for the cohort, gathered the reading materials and brought the group together. The pilot cohort consisted of two teenagers, two people in their 20s or 30s, two in their 40s or 50s, two in their 60s and two in their 80s or 90s.
“I came to the realization that there are very few places in which we have the opportunity to form rich intergenerational relationships,” Krinsky said. “Synagogue and religious community is one of those places, and it’s something that I personally have felt so enriched by … and I felt like getting to intentionally create space for building to happen felt like taking advantage of one of our biggest opportunities.”
Krinsky has two roles within the cohort: teacher and facilitator.
“I’m there to impart some level of knowledge or wisdom. I see myself as a kind of funnel for the tradition in that way,” Krinsky said. “And then facilitator, really fabricating space to open up conversations and opinions and challenges and reflections from people that are there. You have to be that starting point.”
Sessions ended with some open conversation time, then a concluding exercise or reflection.
She led the cohort without the expectation that everyone who walked into the room was familiar with Jewish theology.
“I assume a high level of engagement and thoughtfulness but not necessarily a high level of Jewish knowledge,” Krinsky said. “I brought texts that, to be honest, I don’t know if any of them have seen before, and there were some texts I brought that everyone had seen before.”
Krinsky said the most rewarding part of teaching and facilitating the intergenerational cohort is seeing young participants come out of their shells.
“There was one teenager in the cohort who is self-described on the more shy and introverted side, but she’s so brilliant and thoughtful and interesting, and both watching others appreciate her and her contributions, and also listening to her talk about what the experience was like for her — I did her bat mitzvah a few years ago — and getting to continue to watch her grow and think and not just receive, but contribute, it was very beautiful,” Krinsky said.
Although the “I/Thou” cohort was not open to the public, some members of the D.C. Jewish community have heard about it and expressed interest in participating when the program expands in the future.
Members of the pilot cohort will facilitate their own intergenerational cohorts next year, and Krinsky expects to have four or five cohorts, which will continue to grow.
“I think, in a lot of ways, using Jewish text and Jewish wisdom to both enhance people’s lives and also the community, that’s what we try to do in lots of different ways,” Krinsky said. “And this [cohort] is one manifestation of that.”
