Rabbi Lizz Goldstein
This week’s Torah portion is Chayei Sarah: Genesis 23:1 – 25:18
In May 2020, I read “Living in the Shadow of the Cross: Understanding and Resisting the Power and Privilege of Christian Hegemony” by Paul Kivel. Although I did not read “White Fragility,” as so many others seemed to, I surely engaged in the idea that it was a time to read books about unpacking oppressive systems and unlearning ingrained attitudes that do not serve us.
One of the things I took most to heart from Kivel’s writing is the idea that so much of American “work ethic” comes from a very Protestant worldview, and that our unwillingness to take breaks and vacations are as much a result of an “idle hands are the devil’s playground” theology as it is from capitalistic greed. I am very much a person who has a strong work ethic and have struggled in the past to maintain healthy boundaries or to allow myself to relax. This book helped me reframe this struggle as an act of Jewish decolonization of my mind. I am not beholden to Protestant American values. I have my own Jewish American values to live by.
This week’s Torah portion, Parashat Chayei Sarah, includes multiple reminders that Abraham is getting old. Genesis 24:1 says, “Abraham was old and come along in days.” The Zohar says, “When Abraham aged, he did not merely pass through the days of his life: he accumulated them. Each day was fully utilized, so that they were fully possessed by him.”
My first thought when reading this was that I wish I had that kind of efficacy and efficiency in my days. Then I remembered that I do not need to “fully utilize” each and every day in the way the American workforce might have trained me to believe. What I need to do is continue to read Jewish texts and reframe how I think about these things. The Zohar continues, Abraham came into all his days and emerged from each with something positive, and we are challenged to do the same. Each day has its purpose, and we are to find that purpose and embrace it.
That purpose may not be productivity. I love my job and the work I volunteer to do to make my community a stronger and more peaceful place for all, so some days I will continue to embrace as productivity days. I am a human with regular life requirements as well, so some days will have to be embraced as days dedicated to chores and errands for my general well-being, a different kind of productivity. And some days, the purpose may just be to hang out with friends, or relax with a novel, to go to the spa, or play a favored sport. This is also how we learn from Abraham to possess each day. Some days might go as intended, and some might not. Some days, something unexpected comes up and we can’t get to anything on our to-do list. That does not mean the day is wasted. It means the day had a different purpose than we realized, and it’s OK to embrace what we learn from those challenges.
I am still learning to accept my days and weeks for what they are, and not by what I tangibly accomplished or wish I’d accomplished. I am still learning to let myself enjoy down time without guilt, or without waiting until my body is so run down I have no choice. But I know I have come a long way since 2020, and this drash on this parasha is just one more helpful reminder. May we be so blessed to live a life as full as Abraham’s, embracing each day, and finding gratitude in daily living.
Rabbi Lizz Goldstein serves Congregation Ner Shalom in Woodbridge, Virginia.
