Joseph Ernest Gottesman would linger after Shabbat services at Congregation Beth El in Bethesda, talking with people long after others had headed home. He was not especially outgoing, his daughter Jill Gottesman said, but he liked checking in, asking questions and staying connected to the Jewish community that meant so much to him.
“He really loved and appreciated the D.C.-area Jewish community,” said Jill Gottesman, who has two brothers, David and Gerald. “He felt like his work and volunteering were in service to it.”
Gottesman, who was born in 1938 in Mendoza, Argentina, and died on Feb. 7 at 87, built a life centered on work, family and Jewish communal service. A longtime Montgomery County resident, he was known for his years as a driver and a member of the area’s Chevra Kadisha, a Jewish burial society that prepares the body for burial according to Jewish law. Gottesman was also known for driving Holocaust survivors to educational programs where they shared their stories.
His parents, Manuel and Margaret (Wechter) Gottesman, left Eastern Europe in the early 1930s, settling in Mendoza at a time when immigration to the United States had largely closed for Jews. There, the family became part of a small but active Jewish community. His father delivered milk, first by horse and cart and later by truck, and also worked in the vineyards.
Jill Gottesman, whose grandparents spoke Yiddish, described her father’s childhood as happy and rooted in Jewish life. He played sports, had close friends and remained connected throughout his life to relatives in Argentina. When he was 11, the family immigrated to McKeesport, Pennsylvania, joining relatives there.
Spanish was his first language, and Jill said he later argued with a teacher that Spanish was not being taught correctly. Gerald Gottesman said his father and his older brother, James, became “patriotic ’50s teen boys” and served in the Army Reserve.
Gottesman worked for companies that manufactured aircraft parts and spent years brokering those parts, particularly in Latin America, using his Spanish. That work brought him to the Washington area. Over time he lived in Hagerstown, Frederick, Silver Spring and, for 40 years, Bethesda.
Around 1989, he built a small business driving clients in limousines and sedans, work he continued for roughly three decades.
“He was known to be a really great tour guide,” Jill Gottesman said. “He loved the area.”
He knew the region well and enjoyed sharing it with others. Gerald Gottesman said his father loved the Kennedy Center, Arena Stage and the Latin music scene in Adams Morgan. He enjoyed salsa, big band, jazz and blues. The family remembered outings to the Carter Barron Amphitheatre and The Birchmere. He also loved Blues Alley and dancing.
Gottesman enjoyed meeting people and took pride in looking after them, his children said. Gerald summed up part of his father’s style in one word: “kibbitzing.”
His work as a driver led him into Jewish communal service. Through Congregation Beth El and Sagel Bloomfield Danzansky Goldberg Funeral Care, he became involved in the Chevra Kadisha in the early 1990s. He drove hearses for Jewish funerals and performed shmirah, sitting with the body before burial.
Gerald Gottesman said the burial work was partly a way to honor his grandfather, who died in 1983. Jill Gottesman said he rarely spoke about it, reflecting the humility associated with the role.
“It was clearly very important to him,” she said.
He also helped Holocaust survivors get to speaking engagements, including programs connected to the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum after it opened in the early 1990s. His children said they were not sure exactly how that began, but believed it grew naturally from his driving work and the relationships he built.
Gerald noted that the Holocaust had touched the family directly, with many relatives lost. Jill said her grandmother spent years searching for surviving family members after World War II, an experience that likely shaped her father’s sense of responsibility and connection to that history.
In personality, his children described him as quiet, stoic and protective. Gerald Gottesman called him taciturn. He was not a man who spoke at length about himself, but his warmth showed in quieter ways, particularly in his reliability. He was often among the last to leave after synagogue, staying to talk with people one by one.
Jill Gottesman said he wasn’t always around the family because he worked so hard. “I always knew that he loved us.”
As a grandfather, she said, he delighted in time spent with Maya, Reed, Micah and Noah — playing games, reading, taking walks and listening closely to what they had to say.
“Just being in presence together was important to him,” she said.
The family also remembered moments when he seemed most relaxed, including trips to Kennywood, near Pittsburgh, where he would take the family for Fourth of July weekends, and other times spent traveling. Jill Gottesman recalled visiting Argentina with him and seeing where he was born.
Those experiences, she said, reflected what mattered most to him — family, connection and being there for others. “He worked hard and showed up when he was needed.”
Ellen Braunstein is a freelance writer.
