The weeds had grown so high in the old synagogue cemetery in southeast Washington that Lois Beth Silberberg and her family could barely find her father’s grave.
Her sister, Ilene Barder, remembered watching their mother cry as the family searched through the overgrowth shortly before the unveiling following their father’s death in 1995. Silberberg, furious over what she saw as neglect of the historic Kesher Israel Congregation cemetery, confronted the rabbi and synagogue leaders and helped pressure them to restore the grounds.
“She would not take no for an answer,” Barder said.
Friends and relatives said the episode reflected much of what defined Silberberg’s life: fierce loyalty to family, strong Jewish commitment and a willingness to fight publicly for causes she believed mattered.
Silberberg, a longtime northern Virginia travel agent and Jewish communal volunteer who was active in synagogue life, Jewish Social Service Agency and programs supporting wounded Israeli veterans, died on March 31 at her home in Falls Church. She was 82.
Born in Baltimore in 1944 to Julius and Sorita Barder, Silberberg moved with her family to Washington while still young. Her grandparents were immigrants from Eastern Europe, and relatives said Judaism shaped the household from the beginning.
Her father worked as a shoe salesman, while her mother presided over a traditionally observant Jewish home.
“She used to say we didn’t have a lot of money, but we had a lot of laughter in our house,” Barder recalled.
The family kept a kosher home and centered much of its life around synagogue, Shabbat and Jewish education. Silberberg attended the old Hebrew Academy, first in Georgetown and then on 16th Street, from kindergarten through 10th grade during the school’s early years.
“She was kind of a pioneer,” Barder said of her sister’s years at the school.
Relatives said religious observance remained central throughout Silberberg’s life. Her son, Jason Silberberg, remembered a home built around Shabbat dinners, Passover preparations and synagogue involvement.
“We celebrated Shabbat on almost a weekly basis growing up,” he said.
After graduating from Calvin Coolidge High School, Silberberg attended George Washington University, where she became active in campus organizations and her sorority while commuting from home. Barder said her sister was named outstanding freshman, sophomore and junior woman at the university.
“She integrated herself into the full life at college,” Barder said.
She later met Howard Silberberg on a blind date. Their children described them as opposites in personality who nevertheless balanced each other closely for nearly six decades.
“They were the best partners,” her daughter, Rachel Sulkin, said. “They really just were a great balance for each other.”
Howard Silberberg, a lawyer, said his wife brought that same energy and commitment to family life and Jewish traditions throughout their marriage.
“She cared deeply about people,” he said. “That’s what everybody remembers.”
The couple settled in northern Virginia, first belonging to Arlington-Fairfax Congregation before joining Agudas Achim Congregation in 1978.
Relatives said Silberberg’s Jewish identity guided many of her decisions as a parent. Though the family lived in McLean, she insisted her children attend Jewish day school in Rockville.
“It was very important to her, her Judaism and her identity,” Sulkin said. “She wanted to instill that in us.”
Silberberg became active in Jewish communal organizations, including service on the board of the Jewish Social Service Agency and a donor. Her son said she valued organizations that provided support and connection to people in need.
“She believed strongly in communities taking care of people who needed help,” Jason Silberberg said.
Family members said wounded Israeli veterans stayed in the Silberberg home, and she organized activities and introductions throughout the Washington Jewish community.
“She always had somebody living in her house and organized all the excursions they would take,” Barder said.
Her connection to Israel remained strong throughout her life. She visited multiple times, organized her son’s bar mitzvah there and filled her home with Judaica collected during travels abroad.
Later, Silberberg became a travel agent, combining what relatives said were her strongest traits: organization, curiosity and love of people.
“She loved planning trips and connecting people with new experiences,” Sulkin said.
Friends and relatives described Silberberg as outspoken, energetic and intensely loyal to family. Rachel Sulkin said her mother “always showed up” for important moments in the lives of her children and grandchildren.
Jason Silberberg described his mother as “very bold” and “very passionate.”
Family members also remembered her humor and forceful personality. When she wanted to make a point, both children recalled, she would place her hands on her hips — a signal the family immediately recognized.
In later years, Silberberg developed a Parkinson’s-related neurological syndrome that gradually limited her speech and movement. But relatives said her determination and commitment to Jewish life never faded.
Even after she could no longer attend synagogue regularly, Barder said, Silberberg continued following services online and insisted on maintaining traditional holiday gatherings.
Barder said Silberberg consistently looked for ways to support others, whether through Jewish organizations, friendships or everyday encounters.
“She would always kind of stick her neck out to help people or if she couldn’t help them, she would find somebody who could help them,” Barder said.
“If she believed something was worth fighting for, she never backed down.”
Ellen Braunstein is a freelance obituary writer. She welcomes suggestions for individuals who had meaningful ties to the greater Washington Jewish community. Email [email protected].
