by Sue Fishkoff
JTA News and Features
The Conservative movement needs to go beyond opening its doors to intermarried families and fully integrate them into congregational life, while urging non-Jews in those families to consider conversion.
That's the crux of a new keruv, or outreach, initiative presented last week at the United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism biennial in Boston by the organization's executive vice president, Rabbi Jerome Epstein.
For too long, Epstein told conference delegates, the Conservative movement has at best "merely welcomed" intermarried families, and often has rejected them.
Instead, he said, Conservative congregations should work to bring the entire family into congregational life, encouraging the couple to raise Jewish children and encouraging the non-Jewish spouse to convert.
To that end, Epstein proposed using the word edud, or "encouragement," rather than keruv, to emphasize the movement's new focus ‹ not just on converting the non-Jew, but on educating him or her to be a committed Jew.
"Too often we act as if being warm, welcoming and supportive is our goal, and it is not!" Epstein said.
While improving initial outreach to intermarried families is "a vital first step," he said, the ultimate goal of the new Conservative outreach is inspiring the intermarried non-Jew "to choose Judaism out of conviction that Jewish living will enrich their lives."
More than a year in the making, the initiative, which includes an explanation of its rationale as well as a detailed action plan for rabbis and congregations, includes input from all the major bodies in the Conservative movement.
It's being mailed to every Conservative professional and lay leader in North America.
In many ways, Epstein acknowledged in an interview with WJW, the new initiative reinforces the movement's 1995 statement on intermarriage. That document described a three-tiered approach: "beginning with attempts at prevention, then the promotion of conversion, and finally, when prevention and conversion fail to occur, keruv to the mixed family."
But, Epstein says, the new initiative "really expands that Š and puts it in concrete terms."
Among other things, it gives specific examples of the types of involvement that may be allowed to non-Jewish family members, such as serving as an adjunct member on some committees (for example, social action and publicity), and encourages the non-Jewish family members to attend classes and take part in certain holiday rituals, as allowed by Halacha, Jewish law.
"In almost any area of Halacha," Epstein said in an interview, "there are divergent opinions.
"It is important that this be based on Halacha as interpreted by the [congregation's] rabbi."
To Rabbi Avis Miller, who was instrumental in drafting the 1995 statement, the new initiative is "an attempt to change the public perception that interfaith families are not welcome in the Conservative movement."
Miller is a rabbi at Adas Israel Congregation in D.C. and chairs the Rabbinical Assembly's committee on outreach and conversion.
With the Edud initiative, the Conservative movement is suggesting a more active welcome to interfaith families just weeks after the Union for Reform Judaism at its biennial in Houston advocated openly suggesting to the non-Jewish spouse that he or she convert.
"If we believe that Jewish family life is important, let us say so sensitively but passionately," Epstein said. "We must begin aggressively to encourage conversions of potential Jews who have chosen a Jewish spouse. And if conversion is initially rejected, we must continue to place it on the agenda."
To bring children of mixed marriages into Jewish life, "special outreach" is needed to ensure their Jewish education, Epstein said.
While not laying down rules for the movement's Solomon Schechter schools, youth programs and camps, the new initiative proposes special scholarships and extra attention for children of intermarriage.
At discussion sessions after the presentation, people talked about their experiences with intermarriage and tried to hammer out positions for their congregations to take.
In general, participants seemed to feel that the initiative was long overdue. Even though it would introduce even more complexity into a movement that already has an equivocal relationship to Jewish law, many people believe the keruv initiative is necessary.
"I don't know that we have to be happy about it, but we have to address it," Richard Price of Aberdeen, N.J., said of intermarriage, which he noted "has touched my own family."
Price said he hopes the keruv initiative wasn't created simply because of the Conservative movement's declining numbers, but is "about addressing the human needs of the people involved."
Jay Goldman, the president of B'nai Shalom of Olney, believes it is important to try to integrate the non-Jewish spouse into the congregation.
"If they choose to bring the children up Jewish, belong to a synagogue, we have to accept that and make them feel comfortable," Goldman said in an interview, emphasizing he was speaking as an individual and not as a synagogue officer.
He noted that his shul, for example, has recently expanded the types of roles that non-Jewish parents can play in b'nai mitzvah ceremonies.
Ed Case, director of InterfaithFamily.com, an outreach group based in Newton, Mass., said he welcomed the keruv initiative, but called its emphasis on conversion as the ultimate goal "disturbing."
"Many couples that are willing to explore and gradually get involved in Jewish life will be deterred if they think or are told that conversion is the synagogue's goal," Case said, adding that "most interfaith families will continue to affiliate with the Reform movement."
Potomac's Randi Meyrowitz advocates a warm and welcoming environment, but worries about the new effort, too.
"If we do push too hard, we may ultimately turn people away," Meyrowitz, a member of Congregation B'nai Tzedek in Potomac, said in an interview. "It could backfire."
A member of Olam Tikvah in Fairfax, David Doniger wonders about that approach as well. "We're not really emissaries," he said in an interview.
Goldman had a similar reaction. "I think if we try to push that kind of thing, it might be counterproductive."
That may be true, Conservative leaders say. But the new approach is aimed at welcoming those non-Jews who have married Jews already in Conservative congregations, and focusing attention on the continued social and educational needs of new converts seeking affiliation with Conservative shuls.
"A lot of our young people are intermarried, and we lose almost all of them," said Rabbi Elliot Dorff, rector of the University of Judaism. "I'm not suggesting our rabbis do intermarriages, but we need to find more ways to make them welcome, so their children will be Jews and maybe down the road they'll convert."
The outreach document is called al ha'derech, or "on the path," an indication that it's not meant to dictate policy but rather suggest a way to guide what the movement is now calling "potential Jews" toward greater Jewish involvement.
"It's a focus, indicating where we'll spend our time and energy," Dorff said. "We should have been doing this 10 years ago.''
Debra Rubin, WJW editor, contributed to this article.