by Adam Kredo
Staff Writer
At 50, David Fox says it can be difficult to meet a gay, Jewish man.
And the Arlington resident's tough search for love is compounded by his not being one to "go to the bars." Yet, Fox is continuing his search to find a fellow Jew who would "get me -- we [would] get each other. There's a commonality, there's no explaining."
Placing the melancholy bar scene aside, Fox is set to take a more extreme measure later this month: Gay, Jewish speed dating.
On Jan. 31, Fox will join about 39 other men and women for the area's first fully gay-oriented, Jewish speed-dating evening, "You Had Me at 'Shalom.' "
Sponsored by the Washington DC Jewish Community Center's Gay and Lesbian Outreach and Engagement program, the evening will feature kosher eats and a slew of eight-minute dates. As they register, participants are asked a series of questions designed to pair them up with appropriate partners. (Registration closes Saturday at www.washingtondcjcc.org/ connect/gloe.)
During the dates, participants will have a "date card," which allows them to take notes on each eight-minute rendezvous and decide if they are interested in pursuing another, longer date. The card also has a space to include other participants whom they hadn't had a chance to meet.
Following the event, organizers will review the date cards and provide contact information to those who may have matched.
"For me, it's actually a good way [to meet people] because you don't have to have the nervousness of approaching somebody from across a crowded room," said Fox, a member of the District's Bet Mishpachah, a congregation for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered Jews.
"It's been getting a really positive response from people," said Justin Lerner, GLOE's program director. "We just want it to be a big community event."
The event appears hot, circulating through various publications in Virginia, D.C. and Maryland and across the Internet.
"We've been very aggressive marketing this because it's the first time we've done it in D.C.," Lerner explained, noting that the program has been in the works for about six months. "How often does somebody get a call from a Jewish organization advertising a gay, Jewish speed-dating event?"
Yet, among first-timers who will be jumping into the fast-paced hot seat, expectations appear tempered.
"I don't really know what to expect. I can't really imagine a first date lasting six minutes, but we'll see what happens," said Mike Kohn, 22, a District resident who is "keeping my expectations low so whatever happens, it can be a good thing."
Noting the infrequency of such events, Kohn admitted that he is excited about going. "There aren't a whole lot of opportunities for this to happen so I thought I'd give it a shot."
Fox, too, expressed optimism at the potential for love, or at least a laugh or two. "It's kind of artificial, but if everyone is kind of in the same artificial boat, that to me makes it easier," he said, also pointing out that a friend met his current partner through speed dating. "I can carry on a conversation for five or 10 minutes; that's generally not a problem."
And if Fox finds someone he is particularly keen on, "Schmooze Time," to take place halfway through the event, will allow him to capitalize on the budding relationship.
Other, more experienced, speed daters say the event is a welcome addition to the LGBT community. "I don't take this kind of thing too seriously," said R.B., a 25-year old Montgomery County resident who preferred not to give her name. Twice in the past, she has taken part in Jewish speed-dating events, one of which was unpleasant.
"The first one [I went to] was a Jewish speed-dating event in college," she recalled. "They said it would be 'gay inclusive,' [but] when I went, there were only about seven other LGBT people, and I knew half of them."
According to GLOE's Lerner, this is precisely why an entirely gay-oriented event was conceived.
"It's important within the Jewish community because you see all these kinds of events for the heterosexual community," Lerner said, explaining that he received tips on how to plan the event from a grassroots gay community group based in Boston. "To have this provided in a community place sends a strong message" about inclusiveness to the community, he said.
Inclusiveness aside, Fox summed up the event as any other romantic hopeful might: "I'm optimistic, I'm always optimistic."