Bonnie Rubinstein often packed two weeks’ worth of food for a son’s soccer game, so her kids had plenty of options. The mother of two filled the dinner table with hearty Jewish dishes and made it a priority to take care of those around her.
That’s the type of person Bonnie was.
“She was a very smart, witty, talented, kind individual who never put herself first, who was all about family and friends,” Barry Rubinstein, her husband, said. “She absolutely adored her children and grandchildren.”
Bonnie died on July 6 due to ALS. She was 76 years old.
Originally from Baltimore, Bonnie studied psychology at Towson University before moving to the Bethesda area. She worked at the National Naval Medical Center, one of the nation’s largest and most renowned military medical centers.
Her life changed forever when she took on the role of HR consultant at the National Institutes of Health. There, in 1976, Bonnie met Barry, the man who would become her husband.
“She’s extremely attractive,” Barry said of his first impression of her. “And I found out that she was also very bright and very caring and very loving.”
The two married in 1978, about two years after meeting. They purchased a townhouse two years later in Potomac, where their oldest son, Michael, was born and raised. Then, the growing family welcomed a second son, Todd, in Gaithersburg.
The Rubinsteins belonged to Congregation Har Shalom in Potomac, where the boys studied Hebrew and got bar mitzvahed. The family also attended services at Shaare Torah in Gaithersburg.
Judaism was an important aspect of the Rubinsteins’ family life because of their Jewish heritage; Bonnie is the granddaughter of Russian and Austrian immigrants.
“She was really good about Shabbat dinner every Friday evening, making sure if we were out playing, she would get us in before sundown and have a challah ready and light the candles,” Michael recalled. “That was really important to her and my father, so we [did] that every Friday.”
Especially fond of the High Holidays, Bonnie cooked traditional Jewish cuisine: matzo ball soup, stuffed cabbage, kasha varnishkes and brisket, according to Barry.
Bonnie delighted in playing mah-jongg and card games with her friends.
“When she met someone, they remained friends for life,” Barry said of Bonnie. “She was very giving of herself and … cared a lot about others. She was a very good listener.”
Reading was a passion of Bonnie’s. Michael recalled constantly seeing his mother with a book in her hands, whether she was on an airplane, lounging at the beach or at home. She instilled this love for reading in her grandchildren.
“[Bonnie] would read to the kids in the guest room bed; that’s the best memory,” Michael said. “They checked out every possible book from the local library. [My kids] were insatiable and she never got tired.”
Although Michael moved to Berkeley, California, Bonnie flew across the country to visit Michael and his family every three months starting in 2012, only pausing during the pandemic.
“I knew what her priorities were,” Michael said. “It meant the world to me to be able to reconnect and spend really joyful moments seeing the kids grow up with her.”
Family and relationships were important to Bonnie, a stalwart believer of accepting others rather than judging.
“It was just very important, because she didn’t have any siblings growing up, so she really cared about [my brother and me] getting along,” Michael said. “Her heart was in the right place.”
For decades, Barry and Bonnie Rubinstein have donated to The Children’s Inn at NIH, a nonprofit organization that provides lodging and support for families whose children are undergoing treatment.
After she retired from NIH, Bonnie volunteered as a tutor at Travilah Elementary School teaching first graders to read. She also volunteered at Shaare Torah Nursery School and with Meals on Wheels. Michael said his mother’s philanthropy continues to inspire him.
“Giving back — certainly the charity and the volunteering — is something I want to make a bigger part of my adult life,” Michael said.
Bonnie’s impact in the community is such that about 75 loved ones, friends and colleagues came to sit shiva in her honor on both July 8 and 9 at the late residence.
Bonnie is survived by her husband, Barry; sons, Michael (Christina) and Todd (Katelyn); grandchildren Jasper, Arrow, Noa, Autumn, Roman, Hadrian and Balian; siblings-in-law Lisa and Geof and cousins.
