Phyllis Matthew Fingerhut, a devoted wife, mother and grandmother who was known for her strong Jewish values, outgoing personality and love of Yiddish language and culture, died on July 21 in Silver Spring. She was 89.
Fingerhut was born and raised in Chicago in an Orthodox Jewish home. She was the fourth of five daughters in the Matthew family. Her father, Shimshon Matthew, ran a factory and was known in the community for hiring Jews who refused to work on Shabbat. He also helped found a Jewish day school in Chicago, which later became the Ida Crown Jewish Academy. “Everyone knew that if they needed a job that didn’t force them to work on Shabbat, they would go to him,” said Fingerhut’s daughter, Jill Loshin.
Her mother carried those values into her adult life. She went to college in New York and Chicago, earning a bachelor’s degree in psychology. While in New York, she met her future husband, Martin “Marty” Fingerhut, through a mutual friend at Yeshiva University. They were married for 64 years before his death in 2022.
The couple raised their three children in Orthodox communities in Chicago and later in Silver Spring, where they moved in 1994. “We all went to Jewish day schools through high school,” said her daughter, Laura Quinter. “She raised us in a warm, observant Jewish home.”
Fingerhut and her husband, an attorney, were involved in their children’s schools. “My mom was always helping out, especially with the PTA,” Loshin said. “She brought people in. If she was involved, others wanted to be too.”
Jewish observance remained central to her life. She attended Kemp Mill Synagogue in Silver Spring and supported the community, though she didn’t hold formal positions. Shabbat and holidays were especially meaningful to her.
She was particularly passionate about Yiddish. Fingerhut grew up speaking the language with her parents and continued using it throughout her life. In Kemp Mill, she helped organize a neighborhood Yiddish group that met regularly. “She always taught her grandchildren Yiddish words,” Loshin said. One grandson learned Yiddish specifically to speak with her and later contributed to a Yiddish dictionary and joined a Yiddish choir in Amsterdam.
“She called it Yiddish culture,” said her son Glenn Fingerhut. “It was very important to her to pass that on.”
Fingerhut had a strong connection with each of her 11 grandchildren. Many lived nearby, and one of her daughters moved across the street so her children could grow up close to their grandparents. “Each one thought they were her favorite,” Loshin said. “She was the first person they called when something exciting happened.”
Phyllis had a talent for connecting with people. Whether at Shalom’s, the kosher grocery store, or while traveling abroad, she remembered names and asked about people’s families.
“She made people feel seen,” Glenn Fingerhut said. “She could talk to anyone, from anywhere, and make them feel like she really cared about them.”
She was also known for her sense of humor, her directness and her energy. “She filled the room,” Jill Loshin said. “She always spoke her mind, but people appreciated that.”
Fingerhut worked for a time as a travel agent, which suited both her outgoing nature and love of travel. She and her husband traveled extensively, especially to Italy. They returned to Florence many times and built relationships with hotel staff and local artisans, who wrote condolences when she died.
She also enjoyed birdwatching, gardening and playing Scrabble. Her children and grandchildren said she passed along many of those interests, which included gifts of bird feeders.
Even in casual settings, she found ways to support others. “When people came to the door asking for donations, my parents never turned them away,” Jill Loshin said. “They invited them in, listened to what they were collecting for and always gave.”
“She didn’t just teach us through words,” Quinter said. “She modeled how to treat people — with respect, kindness and dignity.”
Judaism, family and relationships were her priorities. “She always reminded her grandchildren about the holidays and what they meant,” Glenn said. “But she accepted each one for who they were. She encouraged without judgment.”
“She taught you to find the wonders and the joy in life,” Quinter said, “to love your family and to treat everyone with love and dignity.”
Ellen Braunstein is a freelance writer.
