Stephanie Tankel loves holding babies, teaching and working with families, so it’s only natural that she is the director of lifelong learning at Washington Hebrew Congregation.
Tankel, 43, began working at WHC in 2008 and has been there ever since. She also teaches havdalah yoga classes for 2239, the young adults’ group at WHC. Before her arrival in the nation’s capital, Tankel worked as a Jewish educator in London and New York City.
She lives in Chevy Chase with her husband and their three children.
Tell me about your Jewish upbringing and background.
I grew up in Bethesda and went from [kindergarten] through 12[th grade] at the Charles E. Smith Jewish Day School, and I really loved it. From there, I went to undergrad at the University of Wisconsin, where I studied comparative literature and Hebrew and Jewish studies, and loved it there. I thought I would keep going and went to grad school at the Jewish Theological Seminary in New York City. While I was at JTS, I had this awesome opportunity to work at a congregation called Central Synagogue in Manhattan, and had this awakening around what it means to do congregational Jewish communal work and was totally inspired.
How did you get to where you are today?
If you’d asked me in 2004 what I’d be, I think I would’ve said I’d be a teacher. If you asked me in 2007, I probably would’ve said I’m going to stay in New York City and do professional Jewish work in congregations. But I also fell in love with somebody while I was in New York, and he was about to pursue a Ph.D. in London and we were very much in love, so I followed him there. That guy is now my husband and the father of my children.
So I had this magical opportunity to do professional Jewish work in London, where I did some congregational work and communal work. It was really incredible to see the differences and the similarities between Jewish life in the United States and the United Kingdom. When [my husband] was almost done with his Ph.D., he had an opportunity to come back to the U.S., so I came with him and was hired at Washington Hebrew Congregation and I have been here since.
What was it like doing Jewish work in London?
First of all, I loved it. I don’t have any problem with any place that prioritizes tea time. The community in London doesn’t have the same kind of professional Jewish workforce that the United States has; the professionalized Jewish educator is unique to the U.S. for the most part. The European world has clergy and lay leaders working there, but they don’t have a ton of nonclergy, professional Jews, which I think is part of why I had so many opportunities there to take leadership roles that I might not otherwise have been able to do at that level in the U.S.
What are your responsibilities as director of lifelong learning?
I supervise our preschool directors, I oversee our supplementary religious school, I participate in adult education and I come up with community engagement opportunities for families with really young children. I run this new moms’ group; we developed a “Caregiver and Me” group, but the biggest two pieces are certainly the religious school and as much engagement as possible.
How do you incorporate Jewish values while talking about motherhood?
Some of it happens naturally because we’re in a Jewish space surrounded by Jewish art. We close every single session with offering these babies and their parents a priestly benediction, this sacred, ancient blessing for each and every person. Throughout, [we] think about what it means to be part of a community and raise your baby into adulthood in the context of a community. So, of course, we’re talking about feeding and sleeping and bodies and relationships, but also we’re emphasizing the importance of connection and community, which is quintessentially Jewish.
What is the importance of raising a child in a Jewish environment?
That’s a personal decision for everyone, and I wholeheartedly believe that raising a child and having your family exist in the context of Judaism means that you have the opportunity to imbue your life through the lens of Judaism. Whether that’s celebrating happy milestones and happy moments, or coping with tragedy and difficulty and struggle, or just marking time in a special way, I think Judaism really gives us this unique way to do that.
What is your favorite aspect of your job?
I love, love, love seeing people connect with one another and I think that’s amazing. I love holding babies. I love seeing people have these magical moments with their kids, whether that child is several weeks old or several years old. I love watching people experience that joy that can come with family life and I love seeing people show up for one another when things are really hard and tragedy strikes.
