Rabbi Amalia Mark doesn’t know the exact moment she decided she wanted to be a rabbi. In fact, growing up in an Orthodox Jewish family, she only knew rabbis as men.
“It was not something I thought I would ever do,” Mark said of pursuing the rabbinate. “[Women rabbis were] the butt of a joke.”
She is now the community rabbi for GatherDC, working with young Jewish adults who are around the age Mark was when she decided to pursue the rabbinate: her mid-20s. Prior to this role, Mark facilitated an “inclusive Jewish space” at Mayyim Hayyim, a community mikveh and family education center in Boston. She also worked at University of Arizona Hillel as director of Jewish student life.
She lives in the Adams Morgan neighborhood of Washington, D.C., with her spouse, their 14-month-old and two cats.
Tell me about your Jewish upbringing and background.
I went to Jewish day school my whole life in Silver Spring. I went to the Torah School [of Greater Washington] for elementary school, then I went to the Yeshiva of Greater Washington for middle school and Berman Hebrew Academy for high school. I really credit these institutions for inculcating a love of Judaism and a love of learning in me. My family is Orthodox; I grew up in White Oak. I went to [University of Maryland, Baltimore County], and I was told I was the first Orthodox student to live on campus. It was my first time being in an environment that wasn’t totally Jewish, first time attending public school — I credit that for exposing me to what pluralism could look like in the best of ways. Having a community of people different from myself was extremely formative.
You mention that you’d only known rabbis as men. What was the turning point that made you realize you, too, could become a rabbi?
I think it was realizing so much I was doing as a Jewish professional were things that rabbis do, and how much I loved being able to support young Jewish people explore what Judaism could look like to them. And the best way I could do that was as a rabbi; I felt like there was a moment where I hit a certainty that was like, ‘Oh, this is the right path.’ That was something I’d been sitting with for maybe a year of, ‘Do I do this? Do I not?’
What drew you to GatherDC?
I had been following GatherDC for a very long time. The idea that we could connect people to each other so they have meaningful community; it’s not about programming, but it’s about what’s missing in the Jewish ecosystem that we can provide. All of that was really exciting. As part of being a Jewish professional, you keep an eye on what’s going on in the world, and GatherDC is an organization I’ve always admired and they were looking for a rabbi. This is a dream job because I get to do what I set out to do, which is being able to create relationships and nurture relationships with people so they can explore.
What are your responsibilities as GatherDC’s community rabbi?
I might be getting coffee with somebody I’ve never met before, talking with them and exploring what their Jewish life has looked like so far, what they’re looking for. I might get coffee with someone in the afternoon that I’ve met before and discuss what they’re experimenting with Jewishly at the moment. Right now, it’s a lot of conversations with people who are going through it with the federal government; there can be a lot of moments of trying to be a spiritual presence with people while they’re going through a hard time. I might also meet with people who are in the process of getting married and work with them to craft a wedding that’s reflective of who they are.
I meet with my colleagues to talk about Passover, and I’m putting together Jewish learning for an experience that’s happening that evening with a cohort or for our Passover seder or a holiday that’s coming up.
Why do you do what you do?
I’ve been really privileged; I’ve had an extensive Jewish education. I’m the product of incredible Jewish day schools. Lots of people do not grow up immersed in Jewish time and space in the way that I [did], and I know the impact that has had on me to be able to make choices for my Jewish life. If someone has never been given the tools to shape their own Jewish life, it’s not fair to expect them to have something that’s meaningful and active.
I see what I do as a sort of doorway, to open doors for people to walk through. I feel really blessed to be able to do that, to be with folks as they’re either going through questions or life events or wondering, “What does Judaism have to say about what I’m experiencing right now?” Being in your 20s is challenging, and it’s a time of immense searching at crossroads, and being able to say “Here’s how Judaism handled this kind of thing for a millennia” is really powerful.
