When Barbara Landow’s daughter, Harolyn, once asked why she devoted so much time to Jewish causes instead of to hospitals or international charities, her mother answered without hesitation.
“Because if we don’t take care of our own, no one else will,” she said.
The remark became a guiding principle for Landow’s decades of leadership in Washington’s Jewish philanthropic community, where she was known for her discipline, grace and commitment to institutions that served Jewish seniors, students and families. A native Washingtonian and longtime charitable benefactor, Landow died on Jan. 16 at her home in Bethesda. She was 90.
Harolyn Cardozo said her mother’s involvement in Jewish life grew out of the circle of family and neighbors who surrounded her as a young woman.
“She became part of a group of women who were already involved, and they drew her in,” Cardozo said. “Once she committed to something, she stayed with it.”
Born in Washington on Sept. 7, 1935, she was the only child of Edith, a native Washingtonian, and Jack Siegel, whose family of seven immigrated from Poland when he was 5 years old. Jack learned English quickly and later operated Leeds Liquor at Wisconsin and Van Ness before turning to commercial real estate.
Landow attended Calvin Coolidge High School, graduating in 1953. In her senior year, she met her future husband, Nathan Landow, a student at Woodward High School.
She studied elementary education at the University of Maryland and was a member of Alpha Epsilon Phi, a Jewish sorority.
Married in 1954, Barbara and Nathan Landow moved to the Rollingwood community of Chevy Chase, where they started their family of three children, Harolyn, David and Michael.
In that neighborhood, they formed lifelong friendships. There, her daughter said, Landow’s civic involvement deepened.
“Her participation was not sporadic,” Cardozo said. “Most often she was in a leadership role.”
Her son Michael Landow said her leadership was shaped by fairness.
“She treated everyone the same way — with respect,” he said. “That’s how she earned people’s trust.”
Her earliest and deepest commitment was to the Hebrew Home of Greater Washington, where she helped establish a new campus in Rockville and served as president of the Women’s Auxiliary and chair of the Starlight Ball, the organization’s largest annual fundraiser.
In 1969, she was recruited by benefactor Charles E. Smith to help build the Hebrew Home of Greater Washington, which originally opened in 1918 as an apartment building with a small footprint. Landow’s parents developed the Landow House, assisted living apartments that would in 2006 become a part of Charles E. Smith Life Communities.
Landow had her own leadership style, defined by precision, courtesy and a deliberate focus on thanking people for their work.
“She was positive and appreciative,” Cardozo said. “She taught me that when you needed to express appreciation, you did it deliberately — not in passing.”
Landow often repeated a saying from her own mother: “Appreciation is the most valuable form of currency.”
Beyond the Hebrew Home, Landow held leadership roles with American Friends of the Hebrew University of Jerusalem and supported the Weizmann Institute and Second Genesis, an addiction treatment nonprofit. She served on the board of the Holton-Arms School, where three of her grandchildren attended. She also joined her husband in raising millions of dollars for Israel Bonds.
Although Barbara and Nathan Landow divorced after 37 years of marriage, Cardozo said they remained close friends and continued supporting many of the same causes. Nathan Landow, a real estate developer, died two weeks before Barbara Landow at age 93.
At home, Landow balanced civic life with family routines.
“When we came home after school, she was home,” Cardozo said. “She never seemed overwhelmed. She just got the job done.”
Michael Landow said family always came first, even during her busiest years of community involvement.
“Community was very important to her, but family was always the priority,” he said. “She made sure everything at home was taken care of before anything else.”
Jewish tradition shaped daily life in the household. Holidays were observed together, and life cycle events were marked at Washington Hebrew Congregation.
Those same values of respect and responsibility carried over into her daily interactions with others. Landow believed strongly in etiquette and handwritten correspondence.
“If someone sent flowers or did something kind, she always followed up with a written note in beautiful penmanship,” Cardozo said. “She insisted we do the same.”
Her granddaughter Julia Cardozo remembered her as a constant presence. “She was present, kind and doted on us. When she was around, you felt secure.”
Family members said Landow took particular pride in attending her grandchildren’s school programs and religious milestones, rarely missing recitals, graduations or holiday gatherings. She followed their interests closely and made a point of staying connected to their daily lives, calling often and sending handwritten notes and cards.
Her granddaughter Eden Cordozo Levy said she modeled a sense of responsibility and service that shaped how they understood community involvement and family obligation.
Landow was also known for her meticulous appearance and quiet elegance. “She didn’t know what sweatpants were,” Harolyn Cardozo said. “She put herself together early in the morning and stayed that way all day.”
Landow married Jerome L. Bernstein in 1999. The couple lived in Bethesda and spent winters in Boca Raton, Florida, traveling frequently to Europe and on cruises. He died in 2009.
Away from her busy social and travel schedule, Landow kept a quiet routine of her own. She spent evenings coloring intricate and complex patterns, always staying within the lines.
“She carried the same precision and elegance into her artwork that she did into everything else,” Julia Cardozo said.
Harolyn Cardozo said she hopes the community remembers her mother for both her values and her sense of responsibility.
“She was a polished and proper lady who cared deeply about the Jewish community and about fulfilling her responsibilities,” Cardozo said. “That’s how she lived her life.”
Ellen Braunstein is a freelance writer.
