The official Jewish 2014 State of the Union Drinking Game



A key part of being a conscientious and informed American citizen is watching the president’s annual State of the Union Address. I like to watch it with a group of people and lots of beer, as should you. And, since we all know we’ll be so intensely engrossed in POTUS’s words that we’ll have to try hard to remember to breathe, let alone drink, here’s a drinking game to make it easier for you.

Every time President Obama mentions Israel or Bibi, take a sip of Manischewitz.

Every time a Jewish person is shown on screen, take a sip of Manischewitz.

Every time he says hope, change or progress, take a sip of Manischewitz.

If he mentions the Sochi Olympics, take a sip of Manischewitz.

Every time he lists Jews among a set of peoples to demonstrate the country’s diversity, finish your glass of Manischewitz.

Every time Nancy Pelosi blinks too much, take a sip of Manischewitz.

Every time Michelle Obama’s arms make you feel inadequate, do 20 pushups.

Every time a politician’s physique makes you feel better about yourself, eat a knish.

Every time the president moves his hands up and down in a chopping motion, slice up a lime and do a shot of tequila.

If he refers to his universal healthcare as Obamacare, finish a bottle of Manischewitz.

For every ex-president he mentions or quotes, drink for the number of seconds that corresponds to the president’s number.  For example, if Obama quotes George Washington, the first president, drink for one second; if he quotes Bill Clinton, drink for 42. In the unlikely event that Grover Cleveland comes up, drink for 46 seconds (22 plus 24).

Every time Obama makes you feel like you need to be classier, pour yourself a glass of whiskey.

Every time a beer commercial comes on that’s teasing a Super Bowl commercial, take a sip of that beer.

Every time Obama says “State of the Union,” shout out, “HEY! That’s the name of the speech!” And take a sip.

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